A friend of mine who has a kid in a local school in Seattle recently told me about how these kids on a team playing softball experienced the strangest situation of everyone winning even though it was a similar situation to my childhood. One team was creaming the other team and yet in the end, everyone was called a winner. It was viewed as a tie, the person coaching moved players from one team to the other, and while I am all about positive reinforcement, kids were being told they were amazing when they were doing awful! I AM NOT SAYING DO NOT GIVE POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. But isn’t there a decent medium where a child can be told they are good, they are smart, they are doing well while adding the encouragement and lessons in how to improve? Hell, maybe that is where a great deal of the ego issues come from in with the artists that think they are so incredible when they truly suck? Maybe there was an excess of too much support that it actually became a liability and kept the musician from actually doing the work required to get better and improve.
With so much of what possibly could be the excess of the positive reinforcement you can witness where confidence can be so sensitive that it can be broken in an instant.
I worked with a drummer in the studio whom I asked to change up a pattern. He gave it a shot for maybe a max of five minutes before he was in tears. Literally tears. I was not digging in to him, but it was clear that he had played and performed in a safety bubble where the moment he wasn’t doing something correctly he was a wreck. We had to take a break and we ended up having him keep the part that didn’t really work in the first place, but was one he could handle. Later, I overheard him telling other band members how I had been asking for the “stupidest pattern” and how in spite of the fact that he could actually play it but it didn’t work and it was terrible. Again, the blame! This is just another example of eggshell confidence and an ego that doesn’t allow for growth.
We think drive, determination and a positive attitude is all it takes.
Again, so many people are out in the world talking about going after your dreams, yet there is little focus on the fact that in reaching for those dreams the journey will entail a ton of hard work and revisions to your path of success. Positive attitude should absolutely be there, and should be complimented through the tools and methods required to being a success, especially in the music business as it changes face and reinvents it self everyday. Simply having a positive attitude is absolutely not enough. Even those who believe in the “Law of Attraction” recognize that you must put action behind that energy and belief. Drive and determination both require ACTION.